As embarrassing as it is to admit, this evening my dog rolled in a dead carcass, the stench of which still has me seriously contemplating cremation. And one long, hot, baking soda pooch bath later, I find myself wondering- what else could smells do?
If a pregnant woman can become so scent sensitive as to vomit at a faint whiff of cantaloupe, then how long before we have smell-centered warfare. How long before I can pack a perfume that will teach the checkout line bitch that 12 items means 12 items? How long before missiles can be designed with scent in mind? Could we send enemy civilian populations running for the toilet and Pepto instead of the hospital, gas mask or bomb shelter? Hmm...
I mean seriously, if the expired animal custard my dog found, could instead find its way to some victimized villages in the Congo, I know we could keep some of the violent, blood thirsty, diamond greedy thugs away from the women and children. Of course the women and children would have to get used to the stink, but I think we could make it work. And I know what you're thinking, but trust me, nose plugs won't stand a chance.
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